Why little things matter (Catch us the little foxes!)

Where words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is wise (Prov. 10:19).

Isn’t it wonderful relating to people who are so constant in their desire to bless the Lord and to honour others that we are not continually on edge, worrying about how they will react? Not everyone is so sanguine, and we are wise to weigh the seemingly “little things” we say and do: they really can have enormous power for either good or harm.Which of us does not find ourselves saying or doing things that, deep down, we know we would be very much better off not saying, doing or even thinking?

Tracking down the little foxes

Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom. (Song 2:15)

Catching the ‘little foxes’ that spoil relationships requires alertness not only when we are face to face with people but also when we are in touch with them ‘digitally’. With no visual clues to prompt and guide, it is so easy for misunderstandings to set in.
Most of us are quick enough to pick up when other people are treating us insensitively – but perhaps we are less rigorous towards how we ourselves are coming across?

We brush such considerations aside, and do our best to convince ourselves that these things are of no great importance. In truth, seemingly ‘little’ words and attitudes may matter very much. People can be won to Christ by our example, or turned off for life: as Karl Marx was – with devastating consequences.

“I tell you that on the judgment day people will be responsible [give an accounting; answer] for every careless [idle; thoughtless; unhelpful] thing [word] they have said.” (See Matt. 12:35-37, EXB)

We are not talking here about being an evil person as such, but about being so locked into our own perspective (and so concerned to communicate that to others) that we tend to blurt out what is on our hearts without thinking how that will affect others.

With wild fires becoming ever more of a pressing matter right around the world, let’s pause and remember just what damage even the tiniest spark can cause – just as a seemingly innocuous trickle of water from a leak can cause great damage – to say nothing of the loss of life that can come about through something as small as a microscopic virus entering the human body. That’s the level of seriousness we may be speaking of in terms of the impact our words can have.

Rather than passing too quickly over this thought, and thereby perhaps missing warning promptings of the Holy Spirit, may the Lord give us the wisdom to spot early warning signs, and to do what we can to put matters right.

Four things come to mind that may help us here.

• May the Lord so shape and soften our conscience that we are better equipped to reflect how our words and actions may come across to the people we are addressing.
• May we take time to reflect on the things that did or did not go down well when we ‘spoke our mind.’
  I certainly have much to repent of in this respect.
• When it comes to relating to others in the digital sphere, try to remember to ‘pray before you send!’
• Likewise, when we have things to share with others, consider running the material you are preparing past others. Two are usually so much better than one, and the best of us can benefit from the wisdom and critiques of others. So much of what we have to share would be greatly improved (or condensed!) if we would invite others to help us plan, review and edit our material.

Revisiting James’ teaching on the tongue: How an untamed tongue stains and burns and poisons.

Because most of us are familiar with James’ teaching on taming the tongue, it can be helpful to read it in versions we are less familiar with. The very lack of smoothness and evenness in this literal translation of the Greek, from the DNLT, helps us to focus on the original meaning. May the Lord minister to us as we make our way slowly through the passage.

Do not become many teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive a greater judgment. For we all stumble many ways. If one does not stumble in speech, this one is a perfect man able to bridle also the whole body. Now if we put bridles into the mouths of horses so-that they obey us, we also guide their whole body. Behold also ships being so large and being driven by hard winds — they are guided by a very small rudder where the impulse of the one steering wants. So also the tongue is a small body-part, and boastfully declares great things. Behold how-small a fire kindles how great a forest!

And the tongue is a fire! The tongue is made the world of unrighteousness among our body-parts — the thing staining the whole body and setting-on-fire the course of our existence, and being set-on-fire by Gehenna^. For every nature of both wild-animals and birds, of both reptiles and sea-creatures, is tamed and has been tamed by the human nature. But none of mankind is able to tame the tongue — a restless evil, full of death-bringing poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse the people having been made in accordance with the likeness of God; a blessing and a curse come out of the same mouth.

Some of us, of course, are prone to think so badly of ourselves that such thoughts may incline us to endlessly berate and condemn ourselves. May the Lord give us both discernment and inner resilience to avoid becoming enslaved to the reactions of others, and manipulated into living on a perpetual guilt trip, blaming ourselves for everything. Others of us, though, are only too capable of pushing our own perspective without reflecting on the effect our words and actions may be having on others. Taken to extremes this can lead to full scale verbal abuse. The bottom line is how much we value the other person.

Some people are so notoriously touchy and swift to take offence that there may be little we can do to avoid this – but there is still much we can do about our own careless or spiteful words. David said, “I will guard my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue; I keep a muzzle on my mouth so long as the wicked are in my presence.” (Ps. 39:1) The next few verses in the psalm indicate how hard even David found it to translate good intentions into action! Since seemingly little things risk becoming much bigger ones, we really do need the equivalent of a bridle or a muzzle on our tongue!

The wonderful thing to bear in mind concerning the ‘little things’, is the effect for good that they can have. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, and a word of encouragement at the right time can work wonders – and even our smallest acts of thoughtfulness can bear the most wonderful fruit. Think of people who have encouraged you by their words and kindness. May we bear similar fruit through our own.

Which brings us to our final point: a chance to review what the Lord would say to you about how faithful you have been in small matters. If athletes are concerned to exercise their muscles, should we be any the less disciplined? As a friend commented,

“It has been said that the “tongue” is one of the most exercised muscles of our body. It has been estimated that in a typical week, the average person will speak enough words to fill a 500-page book! Being reminded of how careful I need to be with all that comes out of my mouth, it makes sense for me to think of myself as being in a “shop window” permanently on display.”

As another friend wrote,

“It is not wrong to express our concerns: it is how we express them that is the key. Reactionary expressions often shoot out from our soul rather than from the Spirit of God who dwells in us . . .  After all, God loves that person as much as He loves us, and so wants to redeem everything about them – just as He does for us.”

How fully are You Lord of my tongue, Lord Jesus? I so often allow it to get ahead of my heart and mind. I am far too quick to sound off, and I repent of the many thoughtless things I have spoken. I am sorry for words I have spoken in anger or passed on through gossip. Shape, sharpen and quicken my spirit, Lord, to help me realise when there is something for me to attend to, and which I might be in danger of just passing over. Help me to recognise when I am about to speak without thinking; and to check my heart; to be quicker to listen and slower to speak; a person full of Your Spirit, overflowing with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. Amen!